The Sorcerer Who Waited
by lulat
Summary: It's been so long since Arthur's death that Merlin is struggling to remember the man he used to be. That is until someone comes to remind him. Inspired by yet another gifset. Planning on doing a couple of chapters so let me know what you think!
1. Chapter 1

I'd been waiting so long now that I could no longer remember his face.

I remembered vague details – like the texture of his hair and the colour his eyes but I could no longer collect them all together into a solid image. Once every so often a faceless memory of his voice would surface but it would be gone before I could grasp it.

I think that's what made it so difficult. I couldn't even remember who I was waiting for.

_Some days I couldn't even remember my own name._

Most people would ignore me and act as if I was simply a part of the landscape. Some people would cast looks my way of shock or pity or disgust. But they never stopped and talked to me or asked me if I was ok. They never offered help or support. They just kept on walking past me.

In the hundreds of years I had stood waiting patiently by this lake, not one person had ever approached me.

Then one day, the man came, and he noticed me.

He was simply walking past me at first, just like they always did. But then I saw him catch my eye, saw him double take. And suddenly he just stopped in his tracks and smiled at me.

"Merlin?" he asked curiously. "That's you isn't it?"

And all of a sudden I could remember everything. I could remember him! The hundreds of years melted away and I could see his face, his speech, his mannerisms, his relationships, his loves, his fears; I could remember the way he talked to me, the way he shouted my name. I remembered all the times I had saved him and the times that he, in turn, had saved me.

I could remember Arthur.

King Arthur Pendragon of Camelot.

All it took was a small sentence from a stranger wearing a bow tie and instantly, everything came back to me. I felt human again! I could remember who I was. Why it was so important that I stayed right here next to this lake, just as I had done for so many years.

**_My name is Merlin...I am the manservant of King Arthur...I have magic...and I am waiting for my master to return..._**


	2. Chapter 2

"Who are you?" I gasp. "How do you know who I am?"

All of a sudden I am distrustful, as memories of concealment and lying rise to the surface of my brain. I've spent most of my life hiding myself and pretending to be someone I'm not. How can a complete stranger know who I really am within seconds?

The man smiled at me again and offered me his hand.

"I'm the Doctor!"

I found myself shaking his hand despite my distrust.

And then everything around me changed.

It was like someone had turned on something in my head and suddenly everything was louder and clearer and more focused. I could feel the ground vibrating with energy as my fingers clasped around this man's hand. _It was a hand that looked young but felt old and strange and was buzzing with life and loss and anger and happiness._

I pulled my hand away recoiling slightly from the shock of it. The moment our skin lost contact everything reduced and shrunk to what it had been before.

"Magic?" I asked, but even as I asked the question I knew that it wasn't magic. Magic didn't feel so disconnected or distant to me.

"Alien." He said simply.

I nodded. I'd heard of such things over the years but the people around me seemed to believe it was myth. But, the people also believed I was a myth too, that I wasn't possible – never knowing that I walked amongst them.

"Is that why you know who I am?" I asked."Because you're an alien?"

"No." The Doctor said, "I know who you are because we've met before...in the future."

"The future?"

"I'm a time traveller and one day we're going to meet. Me and you." He smiled, "It just hasn't happened to you yet."

I didn't quite understand but I found myself nodding anyway. If I could have magic it wasn't too bizarre to imagine that someone else could travel in time.

"How do you travel in time if you don't use magic?" I asked curiously.

"I use a time travelling machine. It's called the TARDIS. It can take me anywhere in time and space. Would you like to see it?" the Doctor said.

I would like that very much.


	3. Chapter 3

I've seen things which no other human has encountered. I have sat waiting for Arthur for hundreds and hundreds of years so i had seen things which no being in existence could even dream of. But I'd still never seen anything like the TARDIS.

It was beautiful. So strange and unique that I found myself trying to observe everything and drink in every detail. I ran my fingers along the console and the walls and every lever and button. I could almost feel the whole machine vibrating with energy.

Despite being in such an alien environment I'd never felt so at home.

I look up from the beautiful console to see a mirror hanging straight in front of me. I generally tended to ignore mirrors. Every day I could see myself becoming older and older – the whole time knowing that more years had passed since Arthur's death. And it was always surprising how much it still hurt me.

I glimpsed my face and then did a double take. Something was different.

I looked...younger.

The last time I had observed my face I looked like the decrepit old man that I was. I understood why people recoiled when they saw me in the street. But now something was different. There were less lines around my eyes and my hair looked less silvery white than it used to. I leaned forward to look into the glass in more detail.

"Most people who come into the TARDIS choose to stare at the TARDIS itself rather than their own faces." Said the Doctor with a laugh.

"I'm younger!" I gasped, running my hand along the side of my face. I could feel the lack of wrinkles on my face and wondered how I had not seen this before. "It's like my body has repaired itself."

"Oh, well that's the Event-Reversal-Age-Appearance-Reduction." Said the Doctor, as though that were the simplest thing in the world.

"The what?"

There was a moment of silence in which the Doctor simply looked at me long and hard. And then suddenly-

"You don't know?" gasped the Doctor.

"Know what?" I questioned, "Know what?"

But at this point the Doctor was laughing, smiling as if he'd received the greatest news in the world. He grabbed hold of me and kissed me on both cheeks.

"I don't understand Doctor!" I exclaimed at him.

"You're aging backwards! You're looking younger because your magic has unconsciously sensed what is happening and is returning you to the state it was before. It's preparing itself for the future!"

"What future?" I gasped, my heart beating fast inside my ribcage. If the Doctor was suggesting what I thought he was then that meant...

_"You're aging backwards because Arthur is coming back!" the Doctor said happily, "**And he's coming back soon!**"_


	4. Chapter 4

My heart stopped and I found myself gripping hard onto the TARDIS to support my now shaking legs.

"Soon?" I gasped.

"Yes, very soon!" the Doctor said and he suddenly pulled out a long metal stick which he pointed at my body. I immediately recoiled and pushed my palms towards him ready to attack him.

"What is that!?" I gasped.

"Oh!" the Doctor said, looking unconcerned at the fact that I was ready to release all manner of spells onto him. He pressed a button on it and it suddenly began emitting a high pitched metallic noise. "It's a sonic screwdriver! A very useful device! I'm using it to determine your rate of age reversal!" He pointed the device up and down my body before letting out a whoop of happiness.

"The rate of reversal is very fast! From my calculations you should have...less than a year until Arthur returns!"

**_Less than a year!_**

My legs gave up at this point and I found myself sitting ungracefully on the floor of the TARDIS. It was so hard to take in. The idea that after all this time Arthur could really be coming back seemed so distant and unreal.

I could see him again. I could almost imagine him rising from the lake and me running

towards him calling his name...

"Arthur's coming back to me." I whispered dumbly. The Doctor smiled down at me.

"Are you ready for it?" he asked.

"Yes." I said quickly and then smiled. "I'm ready to see that idiot again!"

The Doctor offered a hand to me and helped pull me to my feet. He shuffled his feet a little and then looked at me hard.

"Merlin, as a time traveller, you do realise that I could take you to Arthur now. If that's what you want. You wouldn't have to wait. It would even speed up the age reversal! If you want, Arthur can be waiting for you just outside those doors."

I glanced towards the doors of the TARDIS and swallowed hard.

_No more waiting._

_I could see him right now._

But-

"No." I said simply. "Thank you Doctor. But a year isn't really a long time. And I don't want to miss him. I said I would wait for him and...that's what I'm going to do."

The Doctor smiled, "I understand. I knew someone else like you. A boy who waited for thousands of years protecting the person he loved. I don't think he would have done it any differently either."

I nodded. It was strange to consider that I wasn't the only person in the world who had gone through this. But, if they could do it...

"Doctor?" I asked suddenly. "I know that I said no to going into the future but...could I go into the past instead?"

"You wouldn't be able to save Arthur, Merlin." The Doctor said gravely, "I'm sorry but his death is a fixed point in time. It can't be changed."

"N-No that's ok. That's not what I was asking." I said, "It's just that I was wondering..."

I looked up at him.

**_"...could I go back to say goodbye?"_**


	5. Chapter 5

I take a deep breath in and I'm shocked at how familiar everything is. It's like I've just returned home after a day of doing chores for Arthur. The work surfaces are still covered in potions and herbs and vials and bandages just as they always were. Gaius' bed still sits in the centre of the room. The door to my old room is closed but I'm almost willing to bet that it hasn't changed. I doubt he would have had the heart to move any of my things.

Gaius is sitting over next to the dying fire with his back to the door.

He hasn't heard me come in.

I take a deep breath. I'm not sure how to announce my presence. I'm not entirely sure what the year is. So I'm not sure how long it has been since I said goodbye to my guardian in the forest. How long it's been since he's seen my face.

I take a couple of steps forward and my movement brings my attention to him and he turns in his chair.

It's then that I see just how long it's been since I left Camelot.

_He's old._

His face is much more lined and his hair is thinning more than it ever was when I knew him. He looks tired. Far too tired.

"Who's there?" he calls, and I realise that although his eyes are looking at me they're not really seeing me. They stare at me, glassy and empty.

_He's blind._

I blink hard but despite this I can feel two tears leak down my cheeks.

"Gaius." I whisper. "I-It's me."

"M-Merlin?"

And the moment he says that I feel a wash of relief sweep over me. I recognise my mentor in that question just as he recognises me from a simple few words.

"Yes. Gaius it's Merlin!"

"My boy!" He pulls himself to his feet and suddenly my arms are around him and I realise that despite the tears running down my face I haven't felt this happy in years. I'd almost forgotten how it felt to have someone wait for you and worry about you and think about you.

**_I feel at home. And it's the best feeling in the world._**


	6. Chapter 6

"H-How long have I been gone?"

We're sat in front of the fire; Gaius' hand is on my knee as if he has to keep reassuring himself that I'm really here.

"Ten years." Gaius sighed, "Gwen has been Queen of Camelot for almost a decade."

"I-Is she ok?" I stammer, the question seems so weak but I can't find one which will fit. I've thought about Gwen every day since I left Camelot. Sometimes I picture her as the Queen of Camelot but more often than not I find myself thinking of the quiet girl who lived with her father and used to blush every time I talked to her.

"She is well." Gaius said smiling, "She received a lot of support when she took to the throne. Everyone wished to help her and she has ruled very fairly – as Arthur would have done."

I see Gaius visibly swallow hard at the mention of Arthur.

"My boy," he whispers, "I can't even begin to imagine how...how hard it must have been..."

"No," I say gently, "No one can understand."

I blink hard as I find myself reliving my last few moments with him. Cradling the head of a man who once commanded armies and ruled a whole kingdom who's only dying wish was for his poor manservant to hold him...

I pull myself back to the fireplace as Gaius squeezes my knee.

"I doubt that ten years will have softened the blow that-

"Oh Gaius." I whisper, hit by the sudden realisation that he doesn't know how long it has been. He cannot see my face. He doesn't know how I got here.

_I could tell him..._

"What is it Merlin?"

_I could tell him about the Doctor..._

"Is something wrong?"

_I could tell him how long it has really been..._

"N-Nothing." I murmur, "It's nothing."

**_I can't tell him._**

And it's not even because he wouldn't understand the idea of time travel. I learnt long ago that very little surprises Gaius as far as magic is concerned.

It's simply that I can't admit to Gaius that even after thousands of years Arthur's death still pains me like an open wound.

**_It appears that even after all this time i still feel like there are some things that Gaius should never have to know._**


End file.
